Treatment Update, June 3, 2014

Yesterday was the latest doctor visit. Temador, the  chemo drug for treating the brain cancer is no longer an option due to the side effects, involving seriously depressed platelet count. An MRI was completed yesterday. MRI results were not what we'd hoped, but certainly were in keeping with the "norm" for glioblastoma, which means an aggressive, fast growing cancer. Basically, the MRI showed three tumors on the right side of the brain, but scattered through different levels of brain tissue. We were told that without treatment I have about two months, but with treatment perhaps four months.  I could also go another 6 years with treatment---that's how unpredictable this cancer has proven to be.  We will pursue treatment, which we anticipate will begin later this week. The drug, Avastin, is administered intravenously every two weeks.

Two verses keep running through my head:

1.)  “…for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances.  I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.   I can do all this through him who gives me strength."  Philippians 4:11b – 13

2.)  “Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance….”

Contentment and joy -- two greatly misapplied terms.  

June 2, 2014, marks another milestone in treatment.  The time horizon has shortened considerably, which is fairly predictable with glioblastoma.  I’ve been anticipating this doctor appointment for the last few weeks and asking myself how I would react to the news.  To be candid, it’s not the news I was anticipating, as I’ve not felt better, nor had as much energy as I’ve had over the last three weeks or so.  Regardless, my reference point is the apostle Paul, who you might recall had been shipwrecked, imprisoned, stoned, whipped at least twice and was always operating in some unpleasant or life threatening situation.  

Paul’s encouragement based on his faith in Jesus rings true for me.  I do not fear what is next, as a Sovereign, loving God is in control.  I’m sad at the news of reduced time, which means less time with my friends, my dear Mary, and family. Yet, I operate with the certainty of eternal life with Jesus.  How life will unfold over the next few months is anyone’s guess.    

The grace and peace that can only come from God pervades my thinking.  This is consistent with the many reminders found in His word that Jesus’ promises are bullet proof.  My contentment is not dependent on my circumstances, as I trust in a Sovereign God, who has my good and His glory at the center. My good is based on how a Sovereign and loving God defines what is best, based on His will---not my arbitrary and selfish understanding of what is best for me.    My trust in Jesus will certainly be tested in the coming months, but that is where the faith that Paul talks about comes into play.  Joy is a sense of security or assurance that comes from knowing that He does not allow any of His children to be snatched from His hand (John 10:28, 29).  Joy is not a false sense of elation.  I have the knowledge and promise that I will reside with Jesus after I die.  Life with Jesus is eternal.  All that has gone wrong will be made perfect for those who trust in Him since He is the great physician.  That is a joy I can anticipate and forms the basis for trusting Jesus---that His promises are reliable. 

My dear friends, I dislike emotional appeals, but I want you to know that as I face into this impending storm, I am trusting, confident and certain of the love of Jesus.  He has promised that I will join Him in heaven.  My love goes out to each of you.  I am hopeful to talk with you over the coming weeks and months.