Over the
last week or two several of you have expressed surprise that I am still in the
land of the living! Put me in that
category, too!
It just
goes to show that we are all living in privileged space--my euphemism for God’s
mercy and grace, which daily surround us.
Previous to my diagnosis, I did not fully recognize the daily
interaction and presence of God. Yes, I would acknowledge seeing the hand of
God in extraordinary situations, but I was reticent to make the connection to a
Sovereign God, who is always present.
Over the
past eleven months, Mary and I have been amazed and encouraged at how God has
conformed our path to intersect with people, based upon what can only be
attributed to a God who ordains what is best for us. We often ask ourselves
"Where did I see God showing up today?" The answer is usually seen in the people God
uses to personally convey His love for us. God’s timing and placement of His
saints for our encouragement and His glory have been extraordinary and cannot
be rationalized as random events.
Proverbs 16:9
“The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps.”
Who
knows how much time any of us has left?
As they say, it's beyond our pay grade
and
known only by a sovereign God. As I consider what is next and that I likely
have weeks or in the best case scenario a few months of time left, I am
encouraged by His faithfulness and the strength of His promises.
Romans 8:35, 38-39 “Who shall separate us from the
love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness
or danger or sword? For I am convinced
that neither death nor life, neither angels nor
demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor
depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the
love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”
I am
solidly in His hands, as I see the shadow of death looming. Do I fear death?
Yes, I
fear the specter of separation from my sweet Mary and the loneliness; the
unknown of potential pain as I leave this life; the sadness at the end of all
my relationships with my dear family and friends. What I don't fear is where I will spend
eternity. It's ironic to think of going to Heaven and being lonely---that is
not in keeping with Heaven as perfect and a place of restoration--where there
are neither regrets nor tears, where I will be welcomed by a loving and kind
Jesus, who paid the debt for my sin by His death and resurrection.
I'd be
remiss if I did not again convey my thanks to you for the many ways you have
shown your love for us and in so doing have been used by God to encourage Mary
and me.
I hope
to pass on a few more observations to you. Time will tell.
Grace and peace to you.
