Hope

Hope

  

November’s Road and Track magazine arrived (with annual renewal notice) in the mail yesterday. The cover is titled Beautiful Cars And Why We Love Them. I love cars, but it’s ironic in that cars have no capacity to respond in kind.  

October 7, 2013, marks the start of the “treatment phase.”  As I enter this space, life as Mary and I know it will become increasingly difficult.  The preceding five weeks since the craniotomy will start to look like a cake walk. It’s with this in mind that I want you to know the assurance and peace in which I am presently living, as I face a very troubling time.  I am fully aware of the sobering reality of what is ahead.  I tell you this not because I have the all answers, but because I have the certainty of His promises.  Those very real promises are backed by a Sovereign God who extends peace, hope, and confidence in the outcome, as contrasted to a sense of hopelessness or impending doom.   

• How can I have assurance as to the reliability and veracity of His promises?

• In a game of life or death would you rather know how the game ends before or after the last play?
• Is assurance a “feeling” or a guaranteed certainty?

I sense an urgent imperative:  to convey to you a unique vantage point regarding this privileged space in which we find ourselves.  We all operate in a privileged space because of a Sovereign God who is rich in mercy and grace.  I hope you will wrestle with what you trust to be true.  Let me contrast two points in time:

• February 16, 1981: When I was 29 years old, our son Noah, was born with a neuroblastoma, which at that time was typically fatal. Panic best describes my state of mind as I watched my 7 day old son disappear behind the operating room doors, as the medics waited to surgically remove the tumor, adrenal gland and possibly other organs.  I was willing to make any deal possible with God to save our son.  The fear and terror was awful as my wife and I waited the outcome.

• September 2, 2013: Diagnosed at 61 years old with terminal brain cancer (gliobastoma multiforme) and given 2 months to 2 years to live.  My response was different:  a level of peace, not panic, based on the certainty of God’s promises.  So this is what the Sovereign Lord says: “See, I lay a stone in Zion, a tested stone, a precious cornerstone for a sure foundation; the one who relies on it will never be stricken with panic.” Isaiah 28:16 

What changed?  I have seen God work over the years and am convinced of His sovereignty and His love for me.  He has been building a “track record.”  I have become acutely aware of that fact in the last few weeks as we have seen Him intervene in His perfect timing, placing people at the right location for our care and encouragement.  Even a tone deaf guy like me can’t miss the way He pours out His love on us.

Hope to me is the assurance that actually grows in the face of trials and suffering.  It is where I see Jesus extending His great love and compassion in an assuring, kind and compassionate way.  He affirms and saves again.  It's a reciprocal relationship in which he longs to pour out His love on me...to the point of overflowing.  A promise backed by a rock solid guarantee.